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Alpha/Beta/Omega Serious about losing weight but just can't get with a fun weight loss program? Then quit exercising those choppers and pull out these three ancient weight loss tools which will etch a lot of fun into your diet! JUMP ROPE Begin by taping down appropriate bouncy areas. Ladies, this means the breast area for you. There's nothing quite as frustrating as getting boobie-beaned in the eye, so tape down before jumping! Next, kick off those high-heels. Guys, your preparation means taping down the 'dangling participle area' before proceeding. As mentioned above, black eyes are not fun. Also, remove all heavy gold chains from your neck and coins from your pant's pockets. Bonus: See, we finally found a good use for that duct tape laying about the house. Next, you'll want to do a few stretching and breathing exercises so as you don't blast off into hyper-ventilation mode once the jumping begins. And we all know how to do these pre-warm-up things. If not, check out a rousting Richard Simmons video before proceeding. Warning: Beware of sweat-stained box, compliments of previous user. Clef Note: You may skip the warm-up by searching for that lost jump rope. That's bound to work up a good sweat. Now that we've warmed up - in one way or another, begin your pre-jump by grasping both handles of the jump rope - one in each hand. Good! Next, swing the rope over your back so that it rests on the heel-area of your tootsies. Ready? Set? Jump! Swing rope in BIG swing over your head. Jump. Swing. Jump. Swing. Pant. Jump. Swing. Jump. Heavy pant. Continue until: 1. Front of T-shirt is full of slobber. 2. Taped areas become unloosed. 3. You are tired. Do NOT overwork those muscles or you will be very sore come morning. OR Navigate below
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