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Diet Caveman Incognito

Article Written by Thin Thin

Take away all the tweezers, hair trimmers, makeup and hair color and what would the face of Modern Day Man look like? No doubt, we live in a manicured world, our daily diet not excluded....


Think about it. If we-humans avoided haircuts, makeup, tanning potions and trimmers - we'd look much like cavemen. And keep in mind that cavemen have pearly white, even teeth - only on the silver screen.

Although our friend Betty may look like a million bucks, in true form those beautiful red locks are actually a mix of browns and grays.

Those smooth legs might otherwise look in need of a bush-whacker if not for her new-fangled hair remover cream which also works well in removing Betty's unsightly mustache.

And that cute hair-do would be streaming down her back rather than nicely framed around her pretty face - also transformed by the illusive powers of make-up.

And let's not forget those manicured nails which would otherwise be rough and jagged. Finally, thank goodness for the tweezers that killed her unibrow.


And if we feel that Betty is a fright, what about her husband Joe? His beard is so long that it's touching his curled toenails. His hair is also long, like Betty's. And those nose and ear hairs aren't pretty.

As we journey back to the future, it's clear to see that everyone around us - including us, is a model that meets the standards of Acceptable Society. If it were not for all our modern day conveniences, we'd mirror the face of prehistoric man (and woman). And just as we slowly altered our appearance, we have slowly altered our foods - as well as our daily diets.

Can you even imagine a caveman and cavewoman sitting down for breakfast, lunch and dinner? It just didn't happen. The prehistoric way of living went something like this: Ug finds a peck of berries and brings them back to the tribe - not his family.

Back then, survival was all about sharing. If a tribe member wasn't hungry, he or she would tuck away their portion to enjoy later. None of this 'eating because it's there' stuff.


Sustenance was a precious, vital commodity not to be taken for granted. What if the berry bush suddenly withered and died? What if a big prehistoric bird gobbled up all the remaining unripened berries from the bush? What if the bush suddenly caught on fire and began to speak- but then again, that's another story.

The point is that our current mode of living was established by our ancestors in an effort to create a more efficient world - a more productive world filled with more enjoyment.

Meal times were established to revolve around another creation: The Workforce. Unfortunately, our bodies would operate more proficiently if we returned to the old ways - when men ate only when they were hungry AND when men ate foods that were closest to their natural state as those foods are low in calories and contain minimal fat - or no fat. But let's face facts. It's not going to happen.

So the next time that you glance at our beautiful friend Betty munching on her lunch at 12 pm sharp, keep in mind that she is merely a figment of your imagination forced to 'enjoy' her food at a set time. If we could actually see Betty - as well as the over-processed cheese nachos she is munching on as they actually appear, we'd run back into our.....cave.

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